Nov 6th, 2024
For the past few months, I felt this momentum building up that seemed hopeful. I saw people standing behind a highly educated, highly qualified woman and I felt confident that she was going to be the next president of the United States. Maybe it’s my fault for confining myself in a space of false hope, but I genuinely thought it was going to happen. I never fully agreed with all of Kamala Harris’s policies or philosophies, but I saw someone who had the people’s best interest at heart, and the intellect and emotional intelligence to try and fulfill those interests. And despite the two party voting system that I find quite corrupt and inescapable, she was someone I could stand behind (be critical of, but still stand behind). She was at least going to be willing to listen to those around her and work to create collaborative policy to protect the earth, the safety and equitability of all people, and our very simple human right to have control over our own bodies.
I genuinely thought there was no way in hell people could vote for Trump again. Not after all that he’s done: his felony convictions, his belittling, his constant dehumanization, his blatant sexist/racist/xenophibic nature, his inability to say anything that remotely makes sense. We’ve seen his true colors throughout the past 10 years, so how could anyone stand behind such a hateful, uneducated man? I’m baffled, but I suppose it comes down to ignorance, misinformation/education, a lack of depth, a single focused mindset on capital, and an unfortunate but blatantly clear disbelief in women.
The thought of having a woman leading our country for the first time made me jittery with childlike excitement. The past few months, I envisioned a space where women could be seen in a new light: respected, listened to. That excitement was vanquished last night. The soul-crushing, gut-wrenching reality that Trump is in office again weighs on me as I try to get this moment documented in real time.
This was supposed to be a moment in history that showed little girls they can be anything they set their mind to. Instead it showed boys that they can cheat and lie and rape, and still become the most powerful man in America.
Last night, I fell asleep to the sound of my mom crying in her room upstairs. Similar to Kamala, my mom is a highly intelligent, relentlessly powerful woman. A few days ago, we had a conversation about how gender has affected her career as a sports medicine doctor and prominent leader in the medical field. On top of having to fight for equal pay to her male counterparts, she has been countlessly mistaken as a nurse or physician’s assistant. I couldn’t help but think of the parallels between my mom and Kamala: two overly qualified women, both whomst qualifications have been questioned because of their gender.
I knew my mom wasn’t crying because the results of this election are going to affect her everyday life in some massive way. She was shedding tears of generational trauma; for her daughters and her mother and grandmother and all the women who came before that. She was shedding tears for the suffragists who underwent abuse so all people could vote, for those who fought for civil rights, reproductive rights, gay rights, trans rights, human rights. She was shedding tears for the immigrants who’s imminent safety is at risk, for the women who are being denied basic health care, for the people on the streets scraping by to survive. She was shedding tears for the very earth we reside, who’s begging us to stop destroying her.
Today was heartbreaking. I’m overcome with grief and rage and disappointment.
But tomorrow’s a new day and we simply have no choice but to move forward.
